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Empty Nest
(Quality Life Forum Support Series) ​
Health Coaching Session, January, 2019

The holidays are over; the Christmas tree is taken down and the New Year’s party is cleaned up. It’s mid-winter. It’s cold. It’s quiet at home with some emptiness feelings. You feel the pain; letting go can be painful.  

Since there is nowhere to go, let’s sit down and stay warm for a little casual chat -  I love wild lives, from big cats to small birds. On a spring day a couple of years ago, I noticed a Dove’s nest on the cypress tree outside of my window. I was delighted. A bird nest is a symbol of home, which represents love, commitment and efforts for raising a family. Since, a lot had happened there in the past breeding seasons -  lost egg and un-hatched egg, nest attacks by predator, nest re-built, successful broods, full nesting cycle parenting, the growth of the young chicks, their brave moments leaving the nest, fledgling, and gone into the nature . I want to share the stories with you, of the same dove couple who had two broods last year. 

​
Part I - The First Brood

Nest Building
In June, a couple of mourning dove begin to build a new nest on my cypress tree. They selected a nice spot, well hidden and shaded. May be their nest building activities caught up some attention, all a sudden, I saw a blue jay showed up and attacked the nest. The female defended in the nest and the male watched in distance; the blue jay left. All happened in a flash. The dove couple did not gave up, they returned next day and continued their nest building efforts.


Incubation and the loss of Hatched Chicks
​
The female laid two eggs a day later and both parents rotate for egg sitting.  Eggs hatched on day 15. 
Picture
The young chicks were well fed and grow quickly. On the morning of day 11, I saw the twins wing stretching and flapping, staying with parent in the nest. Expecting them may leaving the nest at any time now, I was excited. But up on my next check an hour later, the nest was empty and clean. I run out to check near the nesting tree, hoping that they may just made the big move, but not seeing them around. After a closer look, in few steps away, I noticed few dark gray feathers on the lawn, the color matches the young dove’s feather coat. I had a bad feeling, but will never know what had happened to them within that hour. The sadness was over me for a long time. I have read that the first year of survival rate for mourning dove can be as high as 70%. Predation is among the common natural mortality causes.

Part II - The Second Brood

The couple came back a month later, to my surprise. I saw them grooming each other in the nest, then the male fly out, carries twigs back and the female weaves them into the nest. They worked together for the next consecutive 4 mornings.

Hatching and Growth
On the next day, the female laid her first egg in the evening, and then second egg overnight. After 15 days of incubation (day and night, rain or shine), one egg hatched few hours ahead of the other. The young chicks were quiet for the first week and became increasingly active the second week. Their dark feather coat appears to be fully grown. Again, the youngsters stretching and flapping wings showed their readiness by day 11. They also became more restless with flight attempts as getting older each day. Parents rotate to provide feeding and care.

Leaving The Nest
On day 15 evening, the big moment came. One youngster made a brave leap out of the nest on the tree branch nearby. The parent then flew out the nest, guiding the youngster moving from branch to branch on the nesting tree. The other youngster then followed. I was very excited to witness this moment for the first time. The twins spent the first night out of the nest on the nesting tree and a parent stayed with them.​​
Picture
Fledgling and post fledging activities
​
Many people think the birds fly away to the freedom sky after leaving the nest, but this is not true. The parents continue to care and feed the young on the ground, teach them to find their own food, also guard and guide them from short to longer flight until they learn all surviving skills to be a dove. Initially, they often stay near the nesting tree area. They leave their parents at around 30 days of age becoming independent and youngsters will no longer recognize their parents after a year, as reported in literature. ​


​If you want to see the doves' nest life, click here to watch my authentic photo documentary. (Please be patient for loading time). 
​Part III – the Empty Nest 

The nest usage is about 30 days – From egg incubation to hatching is about 15 days and from hatching to leaving the nest is about 15 days. Fledgling may take another 15 days after the young leaving the nest. Doves are very caring and responsible parents. Doves are likely to return to the same area for the next breeding season, they may reuse the nest or make a new one on the same nesting tree (if the old nest is gone).

As I was watching, I had thoughts relating the dove’s nesting cycles to our family life. The 30 days nest life of a Dove brood is equivalent of 18 years of our family life. The college years are just like fledgling. We raise families and kept our kids warm, fed, and well educated. Then that big moment came; our children have grown up and moved out. They became independent just as we have hoped for. Still, no matter how far they go, the family tie continues, and we are keeping the lights on for them at home.

​Looking through the window at the empty nest now, after the sad and happy stories ended, it’s quiet as nothing happened. It collected fall leaves and winter snows; awaits doves homecoming for the next breeding season.
​

Hope you liked my story and knowing parenting is never easy, same for wildlife and human families. Parenting is forever; w
e have gone through a lot by now. With bitter sweet mixed feelings, we have reached the final stage, also the longest stage, of parenting – the empty nest. Letting go is hard and emotionally let go is more challenging.

Our children are not our possessions; they are independent life’s longing for itself. They come from parents, but not belong to parents. We give them love, but not our thoughts. We keep them home for shelter, but can’t protect them for forever. They belongs to future, beyond our reach.
Picture
Positive mindset for successful empty nest parenting:
  • Accept and redefine new parenting roles, learn to step back and respect your children and their judgments
  • Find peace and freedom in the evolving role of parenting
  • Letting adult children become responsible and accountable for their life
  • Forge a new family relationship, recreating your life with children on the sidelines
  • Trust the family ties are strong and you will have a more mature and deeper relationship with grown-up children to look forward to
  • Connect with people other than your adult children
  • Congratulate yourself for parenting success and this rewarding experience
  • Empower yourself for explore a new meaningful life from empty nest and beyond
 
Transition takes time. Some days may be harder than others, especially when post-holiday blues hit. The negative impact of depression and loneliness on physical and cognitive health requires attention and awareness. A newly published study from International psychogeriatrics reported high prevalence and adverse health effects of loneliness in community.  Don’t hesitated to reach out for help; open up what’s on your mind and how you feel in your empty nest. You may feel lonely, but you are not alone. Contact me (qualitylifeforum@outlook.com) for a free call. You can also click here to learn about the loneliness breakthrough and other health coaching programs offered at Quality Life Forum. Health coaching will bring you the personal touch and support for value clarity, self-care empowerment, and enjoyable experience for quality of life enhancement.  


Feel free to contact qualitylifeforum@outlook.com for your health coaching needs.

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  • Home
  • Forum
    • Mind and Body
    • Feeling well
    • Feeling ill
  • Coaching
    • Coaching Programs >
      • Loneliness Breakthrough
      • Therapeutic Lifestyle Changes
      • Time-Restricted Feeding for Healthy Aging
      • Patient-centered Health Navigation Program
      • Customized program
    • 2022 health coaching monthly >
      • Health: the Cornerstone for Quality of Life
      • Aging Eye Facts
      • Age-Related Hearing Loss
      • Aging and Oral Health
      • Aging Skin and Sun Safety
    • 2021 Health Coaching Monthly >
      • Hew Year Brings New Hope
      • Pandemic Winter Blues
      • Make a Self-Care Plan for Your Golden Years
      • Are You Fully Vaccinated?
      • Less is More
      • Managing Chronic Insomnia
      • Range of Motion Recovery from Frozen Shoulder
      • The Milestone of Age 65
      • Aging Brain
      • Muscle Memory and Cognition
      • Navigation for Healthcare Needs
      • Gratitude Power for Wellbeing
    • 2020 health coaching Monthly >
      • The Key Role of Protein in Healthy Aging
      • Healthy Fat for Healthy Aging
      • Healthy Aging Energy Source Carbohydrate
      • Transform Pandemic Fear to Self-Care
      • Hope endures
      • Breathing and Blessing
      • Listening to your body
      • Keep Fit for Your Age
      • Time-Restricted Feeding Is A Healthy Lifestyle Choice
      • Process and Results
      • Moderation
      • Invest In yourself
    • 2019 Health Coaching Monthly >
      • Empty Nest
      • Food Safety and H. pylori Infection
      • Body Image and Self-Care After Midlife
      • Exercise is Medicine
      • Cognitive Health
      • Dietary Supplements Are Not Drugs
      • GERD
      • Downsizing in the Golden Years
      • Time for change
      • Action is what counts
      • Osteoporosis in Women
      • Dealing with Difficult Emotions in Holiday Season
    • 2018 Health Coaching monthly >
      • The Golden Keys for the Golden Years
      • loneliness Breakthrough
      • Regulate Blood Pressure
      • Lowering Cholesterol
      • Blood Sugar Self-Management
      • TLC Transformation
      • Golden Mindset
      • Nourish Your Body for Healthy Living
      • Keep Life in Motion
      • Tough Fight for the Belly Fat
      • Dealing with chronic stress
      • The Most Valuable Gift
    • 2017 Health Coaching monthly >
      • Willness Attitude and Winterizing Fitness
      • Live with Thyroid Nodules
      • Exercise for Blood Sugar Regulation
      • Longevity and Quality of Life
      • How to Reduce Aging Eye Fatigue
      • Sleep Well
      • Intermittent Fasting
      • Facing a life-threatening illness
      • Music Learning for older adults
      • Better to Eat Meat or Plant Food
      • Immunity and Aging
      • A Special Holiday Gift
    • 2016 Health Coaching Monthly >
      • Wellness Mindset
      • Get Active
      • Balance Training
      • Emotional Healing
      • Vitamin D Deficiency
      • Weight Management
      • Health Literacy
      • Prevention
      • Significant Health Indicators
      • Gratitude for life
      • Home Coming for Holidays
  • Health Product Guide
    • Choices for Healthy Living
    • Vitamins and minerals
    • Digestive Health
    • Heart Health
    • Eye Health
    • Joint Health
  • About
  • Contact
  • Blogs
    • Blog How much water to drink in a day?
    • Blog What’s Good to Eat?
    • Blog Are You Motivated for a Healthy Life Style?
    • Blog A Green Tea Invitation
    • Blog The Value of Vitamin and Dietary Supplements
    • Blog Holiday Edition 2015
    • Blog Travel album of Switzerland
    • Blog A Mourning Dove Story